Life is living. So worth the trouble.

My life is an adventure. I can look at it with a half empty attitude or I can accept the fact that there are weekends I'll have to work and broken cars to deal with. I need to remain happy and find the beauty in everything or even the light at the end of the tunnel is to small and to far away.
By the way I've music playing loudly in my headphone right now. It makes me so happy.
I suppose that first bit was more directed to myself than anyone else, but I do hope daily that what I do teaches others. I would hate for anyone else to have to endure the consequences of my mistakes due to ignorance. I'm really not sure what to write about but I've really wanted to get back on here for a while and now my insomnia and the need to write have overcame the busy stint that has plagued me with the "inability" to blog.
Beauty, bliss, silly things that make me smile, are always present everywhere we look. For instance today has been rather gloomy as far at the weather. Although not uncommon for oceanside/del mar, it was rather heavily overcast today. Worse than normal I suppose, but as I found myself staring at the ever gray sky, I looked past the seemingly solid shade and saw the individual definition of each bulge in the clouds and found it enchanting. At first glance it was an expanse of gray cold almost unwelcoming sky, but the more you pay attention the more you see how dynamic and just damn pretty a "lousy day" can be. Little things like that keep me going. I have had a rough week and for a few days there I just felt really really done with it all. I had a very hard time finding those little things because I was not looking for them. I had become complacent about it, expecting the beauty to just stand out on its own from an ugly situation. It does take effort to look at a massive mess of a crappy situation and come out with a smile but it is so necessary for me to retain a wee bit of the sanity I have left.
I have alot more help then I give credit, my very loving supporting and understanding family, both at home and here in my shop. Without them I would be very lost in all the wrong directions. As much as I want to be emotionally independent I am not that type of guy. Its so much nicer to be able to call my sister in the middle of the night and ramble even though she is asleep on the phone with me then to ramble to my own mind. Having friends all over the country that I can talk to, regardless of the matter, is amazing. I love so much and thank you all for the support.
I also thank the artists that inspire me everyday. The music that I sing to whoever is, is not, or may be listening to at all hours of the night give me the passion I need to continue. When its hardest I can always pop in Say Anything and drive around hearing nothing else but poetry describing so many aspects of my life with the same intensity as I feel it.
If I could bust out and sing right now I would with a fury, but alas, my roommate sleeps...
He leaves for Iraqistan soon.

^ Win. Epic Win.

But now I must try to sleep....

I like guns

But alot of people don't. Because they kill people and appear to be poorly policed.

People live in fear of guns the same way they live in fear of anything that can kill or harm them without much chance of survival due to situational control.
There is really not much you can do once the trigger is pulled and that small bit of energized lead and copper is wanting to introduce itself with haste.
Only pray I guess.
Point being its scary stuff. I think the media has a lot to do with it, on the news in movies and yes in gangsta rap there are tales of horrific gun violence. Take the gun outta the picture and there is still a crazy person who wants to hurt someone. But we cant take the gun outta the picture can we? Even if we make it impossible for the crazy person to buy a gun they are gonna get their hands on one if they really want it.
Guns are kinda like weed, you can get it legally some places. Some easier than others, but if you cant find it legally and you really want it, its not that hard to get a hold of illegally.
Illegal arms traffic is almost as frequent as drugs, know the right people and you could be holding an unregistered firearm in less time it takes to buy one legally.
It sees common sense to me hat if more people were walking around with a gun on their hip, less people would get shot or mugged or raped or robbed. Right?
So Tditty.mpeg is a gangsta, he walking in his hood wif his Gs and they just strollin. Well young Mr. dot mpeg gets bored and decides to rob this nice crib he rollin by. But then he thinks to himself, "everybody got gun these days, cuz it so easy to get a hold on em. Maybe today aint a good day to get shot for a new plasma..." and he keeps walking. Same thing happens to the traveling business man who almost got mugged on the way to the hotel after his long meeting at the downtown office, somebody pulls a gun on him and demands his watch and wallet, but Mr. Reed has taken the time to train himself with his new 1911 handgun and draws as quickly as the threat is free from the assailants lips. A short period of hearts racing and beads of sweat forming on the foreheads of the two opponents as they face of in a battle of nerves, each trying to keep control of their fight or flight impulses. However Mr. Reed has prepared himself, he is calm as he slowly tells the man to back off and leave him be. The unnamed would be mugger runs in fear as he quickly undestands he will not be getting his way.
A young woman sits alone in her house all of her friends have gone out and she stays home to study for her up coming midterms. An uneasy silence creeps up her back making the her hairs stand on end, she steals a quick glance to her beside table where the grip of a stock-less 12 gauge, loaded with buckshot, sits waiting for the moment it is needed. The wind picks up outside the window masking the quick footsteps of a once loving but now wildly obsessive boyfriend making his way to her back door. Kim's ears perk up just in time to hear the door slowly creek as the old brass hinges beg for lubrication. Knowing no one is supposed to be home this early she quickly and fluidly grabs the shotgun and checks the chamber making sure its empty to avoid miss fire, habits instilled by her father who sleeps soundly at home knowing he has taught his daughter how to keep herself safe. She waits behind the door of her bedroom careful not to make any noise even as her breathing quickens. She hears the footsteps and tightens her grip running though a mental checklist, raise the sights and aim, verbal warning, shoot for the legs first then to kill. The sound of  muddy boots making their way slowly to her door until they stop, reaching the horrifying destination. Someones hand shakes the door handle and Kim Slams the shotguns pump action down then back up racking a round into the chamber. The sliding and crashing of the metal pieces is deafening in the silence and the boots run out the back door crashing along the way. There would have been not time to dial 911 and no one to call for help.
See?
In some countries he military is made up of everyone. You reach a certain age and you are drafted, trained and upon completion of duty sent home with all your issued gear. Including fully automatic rifles. I don't necessarily agree with mandated military service, but the point is everyone in the country is trained and armed. Who in their right ruddy mind is going to break into one of those houses knowing there is a fully automatic weapon waiting for them?
Making it harder for the law abiding people of this country to obtain and train with weapons only makes it easier for the criminals to control everyone else. They still have the assault weapons that have been banned the still have the ammunition that has been kept from he rest of us, and the still have the will to use it against us.
And we are left by the unconstitutional and socialist legislation of politically correct populists defenseless.
Thanks for the change. Was it worth it?

 P.S. What the hell are we supposed to do when the zombies show up? The rednecks with all the guns aren't as friendly as they seem. Or as smart as the look. Thanks again for dooming us all to being eaten by our undead peers.

Like a year... I know i'm sorry

This is me and baby sister. I have goo on my face.

Moms magic goo.

Miri looks confused at me, nothing new.

I miss home.

And face goo a little.





I am trying to look like a salty old sgt major or sumfin...

























Yes, i like it that much here...

This Is Mikey, hes mah best fwend!
I miss him.






So my few but important followers
My live is seemingly uneventful.
I have passed all my courses so far, I was recognized in my last on for having the highest academic scores out of my class, so far i have earned 14 credit hrs in m training, and I am now enrolled in the last bit of training I will have in lovey twentynine palms. At least for the foreseeable future.
I will be going to camp pendelton in sunny California and be stationed with CLR 15. Exiting stuff. maybe Afghanistan in september, who knows...
But other than all that life is a blur on unpredictable but not unguessable emotions, experiences, new people, and... well i guess just life.
you learn something new everyday
and everyday on this side of the dirt is a good day however much it seems a disappointment.
A day not cherished is a day wasted. There will always be some disappointment, life does this to
keep us on our toes, to keep us guessing. To keep us learning and improving and loving and sharing and being.
I would rather live and be let down, then hide away from all dismay.
Thats why I touch the hot stove.
I love you.