9.11.2010

Life is living. So worth the trouble.

My life is an adventure. I can look at it with a half empty attitude or I can accept the fact that there are weekends I'll have to work and broken cars to deal with. I need to remain happy and find the beauty in everything or even the light at the end of the tunnel is to small and to far away.
By the way I've music playing loudly in my headphone right now. It makes me so happy.
I suppose that first bit was more directed to myself than anyone else, but I do hope daily that what I do teaches others. I would hate for anyone else to have to endure the consequences of my mistakes due to ignorance. I'm really not sure what to write about but I've really wanted to get back on here for a while and now my insomnia and the need to write have overcame the busy stint that has plagued me with the "inability" to blog.
Beauty, bliss, silly things that make me smile, are always present everywhere we look. For instance today has been rather gloomy as far at the weather. Although not uncommon for oceanside/del mar, it was rather heavily overcast today. Worse than normal I suppose, but as I found myself staring at the ever gray sky, I looked past the seemingly solid shade and saw the individual definition of each bulge in the clouds and found it enchanting. At first glance it was an expanse of gray cold almost unwelcoming sky, but the more you pay attention the more you see how dynamic and just damn pretty a "lousy day" can be. Little things like that keep me going. I have had a rough week and for a few days there I just felt really really done with it all. I had a very hard time finding those little things because I was not looking for them. I had become complacent about it, expecting the beauty to just stand out on its own from an ugly situation. It does take effort to look at a massive mess of a crappy situation and come out with a smile but it is so necessary for me to retain a wee bit of the sanity I have left.
I have alot more help then I give credit, my very loving supporting and understanding family, both at home and here in my shop. Without them I would be very lost in all the wrong directions. As much as I want to be emotionally independent I am not that type of guy. Its so much nicer to be able to call my sister in the middle of the night and ramble even though she is asleep on the phone with me then to ramble to my own mind. Having friends all over the country that I can talk to, regardless of the matter, is amazing. I love so much and thank you all for the support.
I also thank the artists that inspire me everyday. The music that I sing to whoever is, is not, or may be listening to at all hours of the night give me the passion I need to continue. When its hardest I can always pop in Say Anything and drive around hearing nothing else but poetry describing so many aspects of my life with the same intensity as I feel it.
If I could bust out and sing right now I would with a fury, but alas, my roommate sleeps...
He leaves for Iraqistan soon.













^ Win. Epic Win.
But now I must try to sleep....

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You also forgot to mention your best friend in the whole world who loves you! I know you forgot because I read no mention fo japan. For shame BFF, for shame.

Bernadine said...

I love you and excellent writing!